The ABCs of Conflict Avoidance

A. Avoid potentially dangerous situations. Sounds simple doesn’t it? Well, it is. Just stay away from those areas of town that seem “seedy” or run down. Park your car in well lit areas near the front door wherever you are. Go places in groups of 2 or more because there is security in numbers. Be aware of your environment AT ALL TIMES.

B. Be calm and breathe. When your adrenaline is up and your “Fight or Flight” response kicks in you usually begin to hyperventilate and this can impair your ability to think clearly and rationally. One of my teachers said that the first step in dealing with any sort of conflict is “EXHALE”. So keep your wits about you and breathe.

C. Communicate Clearly and with Confidence.

Street thugs are like any of nature's predators...they look for the easy victim. By speaking in a firm, loud confident tone (even if you don’t feel confident...another one of my teacher’s favorite bits of advice was to “Fake it ‘til you make it.”) you are sending a message that says,

Stay Back!

“DON'T MESS WITH ME!” A good dose of Vitamin N (“NO!”) always helps.

D. Don't put yourself in a worse situation. End the attack at the 1st crime scene (where the attack occurred, do not go to the 2nd crime scene (anything can happen here, you do not know what people or weapons await at the 2nd crime scene). Do not get into any stranger's car, fight for your life before this happens.

E. Environment can create opportunity. Most of us do not go around carrying “weapons” for protection, but many everyday items we do carry can be effective in self defense.

Purses, handbags or backpacks. Carrying these strapped to your shoulder can provide a predator with an opportunity to grab a hold of you. However, when carrying it in your hand and holding it with a firm grip they can become an effective swinging weapon.

Keys.

First of all, carry your keys in your hand. Having to fumble around in a purse, bag or pocket leaves you vulnerable giving a predator time to attack you. Holding your keys in your fist with one or two sticking out between your fingers turns your fist into a stabbing weapon. Swinging keys while holding the keychain is also a very effective “club” type of weapon.

Newspapers and magazines.

These also are effective “clubs” when carried rolled up. They can also be used as a stabbing or poking weapon, especially to vital targets like groin or face.

F. “Fire” is often better to yell than “Help” ....and Fight. What do most people do when they see an accident on the highway? They slow down to take a look, right? Our natural curiosity gets a hold of us when we think there might be something going on and we can watch from a distance. Ask us to get involved and our inhibitions are activated and we avoid the situation. If you do find yourself in a situation where physical confrontation is imminent then FIGHT. I mean fight like a wild animal that is backed into a corner. Do whatever it takes to protect yourself or your loved ones.

Remember, it is your safety first and their feelings later.

G. Get away as quickly as you can and stay away...Get some training. Once you have defended yourself to the point your assailant is no longer attacking you then RUN. Do not stick around to see if they are alright. Get out of there, call the police and let them handle it. Also, if possible, avoid returning to the place of the attack. Park your car in a different spot. Go to a different store. Avoid that particular place. Once bitten, twice shy. This does not mean you should hide in your home all the time. Be careful about the places you frequent and get your radar up so you are aware of what is going on around you.

Taking a self defense class or enrolling in a martial arts school is also a good idea. The repetition of training will give you the appropriate tools you need to defend yourself and the confidence to use them if needed.

H. Hit Hard, Hit fast, Hit first, Hit last. When under attack, be aggressive. When your life is in danger, go all in - immediately. Do not stop until help arrives (follow instructions given by police IMMEDIATELY) or until you are able to get away.